denny-1's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Signs, Signs, Everywhere the signs... I came home after a long drive from work on friday. I tend to complain about work being work, but its not really work, it's more like a torturous existence which allows me to buy pretty things. I like pretty things. Neo had called just before I left the office and asked what my movie preference was...he was looking through the new releases...I said I wouldn't mind watching the third movie in the trilogy of Lord of the Rings...I love the fantasy movies, and they are even better after too many glasses of wine. We exchanged a few words and I said I'd see him at the apt.. I arrived home and quickly had a beer...My stomach has been doing back flips since I purchased this ticket to the 'Gala'. I can't seem to sit still...so I started cleaning. cleaning the bathroom, doing laundry, vacuuming, dusting...very obsessive compulsive. In the midst of my cleaning frenzy, Neo says, "hey, I picked up a movie I thought you would like..." As he removed the movie from the oversized target bag, my mind kept repeating, "no, no, it's not going to be, no, it can't be...no Ben, please..." Paycheck. It came out on release yesterday...(I only know this because I'm still doing google searches on him) Sign? **************** This obsession is pathetic. I'm not sure what provokes this type of behavior...I mean, I'm a reasonably grounded person, responsible, considerate...I pay my bills, on time, for the most part...I work hard on things that I'm interested in, I have wonderful friends and family. Why is this so important to me? I remember the one thing that made me actually feel as though I 'had' to meet Ben...an mind you, I unfortunately don't regard him as some unbelievable actor. In fact, most of the roles that he's played have been so sugar coated with special effects that it's almost impossible to consider the acting as, just that acting...I'm sorry to admit, but anyone can act, however, not anyone can be an actor. I do feel that he has the potential to be a great actor...Tom Stoppard's, Shakespeare in Love. ...He played mercucio. and played it well...and I did enjoy him in Good Will He's real. That's what I'm attracted to...and goofy. I love goofy. ...and he's a tortured soul...or at least that's what I see in him. A soul that doesn't know if he's coming or going in love...perhaps a personal connection? *************** I'm reading a good book. I love good books. They are like little bits of escape. It's called, After. "She must have recognized him as a fellow sufferer. such people are marked, he had long thought. They could locate one another in a crowd based on instinct alone." *************** Today I will finish cleaning the house...laundry and such. Later I will have my first color lesson with mom... Later that that, my girly friend is popping over for some wine and chitty chat. Even later than that...? Who knows...perhaps I'll watch Paycheck... ***************** Is there such thing as coincidence? or are these all signs ? ... from someone past, or a higher power in which I'm unable to understand. I wonder. Signing off. Denny 12:18 p.m. - 2004-05-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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