denny-1's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- an empty dictionary redefining...defining...redefining...defining... my pretzel'd mind skating in a figure eight... a stigma...I'm almost embarrassed to say that I'm an obsessed school girl looking for her first kiss. (I had to take Ben off...I'd love to get Ben off...another story for another day)... I'm told these are the defining moments in a women's life, her 20's, and as I slowly leave them, I'm left with an empty white board of flaking marker. I'm leaving my mark...the remnants of redefinition. The indelible streaks of my smelly maker. The annoying black flaks that line the tray. I want a clean slate. A crisp Clorox'd white board. A new definition, a rewind button, a timeless moment of unattainable bliss...but I can't. So, poor me, I'm left with a yard sale white board the I could have picked up for two bucks. Pock marked with forgotten words, and mediocre memories. I want a wet board...and some Windex. **************** I've found soul in the writing of Goethe. My soul. My hungry, dormant soul. The Sorrows of Young Werther. The women at the book store told me that after reading this story many committed suicide...She was an older women, of a decent I couldn't audibly place. She wore glasses, and looked smart. I assured her that I wouldn't commit suicide after reading. She smiled. **************** Have you ever seen a blue rose? It's a beautiful and mysterious flower...one that makes me smile and wonder in the same breath. **************** It feels good to write again. A focus, or lack there of. I'm draining quickly. I need some water. (Evian by choice, tap by force) I'm fading fast. I need some light. daylight, nightlight, city light, candle light perhaps some wine, Red or white, A flower for my table, A rose, of course(preferably red) *********** 10:11 a.m. - 2004-04-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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