denny-1's Diaryland Diary

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dull apple

The things we think of while at work...

Concentration seems like a daunting task. I hate this job. Ok, well it's not as bad as it could be, right? A job is a job is a job...When does a job become a career and what�s the difference?

I took this job almost 4 years ago. After 5 1/2 years in college and 8 long years in the restaurant business I was desperate for a life of civility. So, here I am, sitting on a leather swivel chair staring into this box with a glare that has driven me to a life of glasses. I have a large window behind me and an office 'area' (cubed) that I could virtually roll around in- and I'm 6 feet tall!! They pay me well - what for, I haven't quite figured this out ...and I have made several close friends...so what am I complaining about?

...It�s mediocrity again...engulfing me as if I were in a pit of sand...slowly raising and covering the one escape I have...my big mouth.

What is it I do? I'm a high-class pimp. I'm in the pimping business...I shuffle bodies like cattle and place them in front of little boxes to toy with numbers and letters.

An endless cycle of mediocrity...

Many of these bodies, my products...speak a language that is foreign to my own (not literally-well sometimes). They have thoughts and feelings that I cannot control...they are like animals...only a lot more annoying. And I spend my time convincing these bodies that they need to do what I want them to...to work what I give them, to put up with their bosses, to accept the payment that I dictate...to live in mediocrity�and they do. These bodies are like robots moving and shifting in a world most of us don't see. They make our computers work, our communication possible... and I am their pimp.

I want to be the creative spirit I spent 5 1/2 years of my existence training for...I want to create something tangible, something that someone can learn from�I want to think�to learn�to feel.

What has happened to the great thinkers? Were have they gone?

I want money to follow my trail of creative living...I don't want to be a starving artist...I don't want to be a starving anything.

The catch twenty-two...

I'm materialistic. I�m a Libra with a keen sense of beauty, and a love for it in all things. I want to be surrounded by luxuries, luxuries of the heart, mind and soul. I want the finer things in life...food, wine, and people. I want, I want, I want...

I hear myself think...and try to block out this reality�I�m a spoiled brat!

This is slow going...This quest for superiority...breaking free from this mediocre world I have created for myself.

I�ve just wasted 40 minutes�even my thoughts are dull. I�m dull at work. I�m and old knife that can�t even cut into an apple.

10:20 a.m. - 2003-08-26

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