denny-1's Diaryland Diary

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decisions, decisions

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen” RW Emerson

I’ve left the old life that I thought was my reality. It was a lie. A lie lived within the hopeful fantasy of what could have been, what would never be, what fatefully has taken seven years to end. When I look at him I see what it was that I loved. What I still love, in another way. A way that says, “I loved you once.” My path has changed…

I’ve meet the mate my soul has been searching for…almost 4 months ago. I remember seeing him for the first time…while working a trade show. He almost immediately said, “I’d like to get to know you.” My response left my lips before my mind or body could stop, “sure.” Immediately I knew, I’m in trouble now…

With fear and angst I scrambled to change. The evening was planned, dinner, drinks, then to a party to meet the man that my gut told me I had to meet.

There was no sign of him anywhere. Disappointment. More wine…

Later that evening … my ‘group’ ended up at an after party. It must have been about 3 in the morning. Instinctively I didn’t want to leave…half of the ‘group’ headed for the door, myself and the ‘sha sha’ stayed.

Ten minutes later he appeared.
He searched every club in the hotel to find me.
When he walked into the room my soul ignited.

“Can you dance?” I boldly asked…he smiled a cocky little smile and turned to the ‘sha sha’ and said... “did she just ask me if I could dance?”…he proceeded to the tiny dance floor to move the make shift barriers to make room for what was to come next…

I was tossed around like a Caesar salad. I didn’t know that anyone could swing a six-foot blond around with such ease. At one point I thought for sure I’d be on my head…when the sweat overcame me, I knew it was time for a rest.

…he is a professionally trained dancer…10 points.

When we started talking, I couldn’t leave his eyes.

I had felt again…something that I hadn’t done in so long.
We kissed…it was awkward…and brief.

I couldn’t leave. I had to stay.

Nothing else happened. I went back to his room. Nothing else happened. He wrapped his arms around me, and that was it.

Not a day has passed that I haven’t thought about this man.

It has been decided, now it’s the universe’s responsibility to make it happen.

9:06 p.m. - 2005-11-22

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